What is a Dominant/submissive
relationship?
A personal
view by Master Aegean
These thoughts are my own, they are not
definitive, but may help you to understand a small part of what
I think makes a D/s relationship work.
When I speak of the submissive (sub) as
female and the Dominant (Dom) as male, these are only illustrative,
as being a male Dominant it is easier for me to write in this
manner - you can replace Dom with Domme, Master with Mistress,
her with him if you wish, the concept of D/s is what is important,
not the semantics.
Fundamental to an understanding of a D/s
relationship is the concept of the power-exchange between the
partners. A dominant does not take anything from the submissive,
rather the submissive grants to the dominant certain rights and
privileges in exchange for some tangible, or intangible thing
that the submissive needs. It has to be a purely a consensual
relationship, otherwise it is abuse.
Domination is based on the dominant providing
for the submissive those aspects of their life that they are
missing, it could be they need a 'father' figure, a Master to
control all of their life, a play partner who provides physical
and mental stimulation by the use of bondage or corporal punishment,
a lover who uses bondage to enhance sex-play, or something else
entirely.
A submissive in return gives their obedience
to the dominant, it may be as a slave, or as a schoolgirl to
a Master (my favourite role-play), or as one who is controlled
by the Master for his pleasure.
All D/s relationships, however extreme,
must be based on consensuality, the partners each consent to
their role, and each may revoke consent at any time. To have
a non-consensual relationship means that one of the partners
is abusing the other, either mentally and/or physically. This
is not D/s, it is probably a criminal offence.
To me, the submissives I look for are those
that enjoy the feelings of their submissiveness. They are not
weak people who are pushed into the scene by a previous dominant,
rather they are strong minded persons who know that submissiveness
feeds an inner need. Some of the most strong-willed women I
know in business are submissive in private, it provides for them
a cocoon that lets them escape from the pressures of the real
world for a while, to be in the care and love of a Master who
will take them into the warm embrace of 'subspace'.
I, on the other hand, find that the flow
of sensuality and exchange of power from the submissive during
play is a very strong mental stimulus. It charges by spiritual
batteries and focuses my mind on the submissive's enjoyment of
whatever play is happening between us. I can honestly say that
I get as much enjoyment (possibly more) from being able to give
a submissive multiple orgasms just through s/m play than I do
from sex itself. This power over a submissive's orgasms, to
be able promote, or retard them at my will is the ultimate kick
for me.
So, you can see from the above, in my case,
a submissive grants me control over them, to spank them, cane
them and restrain them, to play with them and arouse them. In
exchange I offer them my domination and abilities to generate
sexual satisfaction for them.
As a last thought, how many men can give
a lady 17 (or in one case 37!) orgasms in an evening with vanilla
sex? It is more than possible during a D/s session.
So now you can see why a lot of ladies
like to be submissive, and I enjoy being a Dominant!
Master Aegean |
